What Is/Was Your Armor?

Today was the first day of the Brene Brown e-course based on her book The Gifts of Imperfection.  At the core is the idea that to live authentic and wholehearted lives we must live our lives with: COURAGE, COMPASSION, and CONNECTION.

Reflecting on those things in your character and your emotions that get in the way of this type of deep connection is tough and powerful work.  We all have to work through things in our history – sometimes out of a goal to improve or just out of necessity when the baggage gets in our way.  But I love that courage/connection/compassion are aspirational … a daily destination to work toward in our relationships.

I am glad that Brene unpacks the words – moving them from ‘fluffy’ words that we can toss around pretty lightly to something that requires us to reveal ourselves (beautiful parts, warts, all of it) to others.   I first read the book last year and had plenty of text highlighted already, so used today to go back over the assigned reading and really reflect.  I wrote for a long bit in my journal … attempted to draw out some visuals that seemed to illustrate my relational journey  (messy, but they helped me process.)

I was surprised at how quickly the reflection on these topics carried me deep in the recesses of my history and my travels toward a life of greater connection, compassion and courage (though I might not have used those words before.)   I will have to clean up the pics to try to share, but I found myself drawing three stages

• The Early Years (til about 20 yrs) – formative, how I showed up naturally, the bright spots (gifts, talents, kindnesses) that stayed with me and the dark clouds (tragedy, loss, things that brought shame later) that I had to wrestle with.

• The Achievement Years (from 20 to about 35) – built a strong suit of armor that protected me from connections that might get too personal, might see past the image to the imperfections beneath, might think differently of me if they knew of any weaknesses.   So my armor was made of achievement, control and building a reputation of strength.  Some results were great, but at the expense of connection.

• Expanding Connections years (from 35 to now (43) … and hopefully long into the future.)  This is about when I really started owning my own history, sharing it and my lessons with others, and when I was able to become more outward facing, investing in others and creating connections I would have avoided prior. It’s been an amazing period that’s been deepening year over year and I am SO grateful.  My family relationships have deepened and been restored, my friendships have grown and become more authentic, and I have touched the lives of many more people by sharing, coaching, and being open about my journey and imperfections.

I am excited to invest deliberate time in the coming weeks to find ways to continue down this relational path, and oh so grateful to be making this journey with two amazing friends.

I wonder – as you are reading this post – whether you have also crafted any armor that puts a barrier between yourself and real, open, vulnerable and honest connection with others?  I know that I had … and that taking that armor off has felt like a risky but incredibly rewarding journey.

Roasted Sweet Potatoes with Maple Syrup

I have fallen in love with the taste and the texture of these roasted sweet potatoes.  They are SO simple but taste just awesome.  I made them a little earlier in the day for dinner, but found myself nibbling on them throughout the afternoon.  The skin is slightly crisp, they are slightly caramelized, and just the smallest drizzle of maple syrup adds a perfect touch.  (and my kids don’t love the texture of baked sweet or mashed sweet potatoes, but they love these!!  Great way to get them to eat what’s seasonal.

This recipe is from Cooks Illustrated – one of my favorite recipe sources.  Love their terrific magazine and cookbooks.  http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2008/11/cooks-illustrated-roasted-sweet-potatoes-recipe.html

Here’s the basic recipe – but so simple you really don’t need one:

Ingredients

• 3 pounds sweet potatoes (about 6 medium), ends trimmed, peeled, rinsed, and cut into 3/4-inch-thick rounds (see note)
• 2 tablespoons vegetable oil
• 1 teaspoon table salt
• Ground black pepper

Procedures

1. Toss potatoes in large bowl with oil, salt, and pepper to taste until evenly coated. Line 18- by 13-inch heavy-duty rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil and coat with nonstick cooking spray. Arrange potatoes in single layer on baking sheet and cover tightly with aluminum foil. Adjust oven rack to middle position and place potatoes in cold oven. Turn oven to 425°F and cook potatoes 30 minutes.
2. Remove baking sheet from oven and carefully remove top layer of foil. Return potatoes to oven and cook until bottom edges of potatoes are golden brown, 15 to 25 minutes.
3.  Remove baking sheet from oven and, using thin metal spatula, flip slices over. Continue to roast until bottom edges of potatoes are golden brown, 18 to 22 minutes longer. Remove from oven; let potatoes cool 5 to 10 minutes; transfer to platter and serve.