What part of you shuts down when you go into problem solving or crisis mode? Does it help or hurt your goal to show up as your best self?
When we jump into that problem-solving mode, lots of things can happen very quickly within us.
- our focus narrows
- we come highly alert
- we prepare ourselves for anything
- brace ourselves for battle
- feelings can take a backseat to analysis
This is exactly what we need when we are in danger. But if our immediate safety is not at risk, the way we steel ourselves for problem solving may prevent us from showing up the way we really want to – as present, open, aware, insightful, wise. By getting out of our self/soul/heart and into only our head, we can leave behind parts of ourself that we need of we are going to be authentic in those situation that require is to make decisions, solve problems and resolve crises.
To be at our very best, we have to stay focused on both HOW we solve the problem as well as WHETHER we solve it. Some days we will be happy with how we showed up, others we will take stock of what we want to do better next time.
Ultimately, our relationships and careers are made up of a series of moments strung together – so how we show up day to day in these situations translates into the quality of our life decisions and the health of our relationships.
Like so many things, this is a discipline and a practice – something we try to be self-aware and mindful of. For me as someone who is analytic by nature, it requires mindfulness – daily practice.
A passage in Mark Nepo’s Book of Awakening focused on this question of our minds and hearts in crisis, and was a wonderful reminder to be watchful of how we show up in these situations.
The Book of Awakening is an inspired and insightful book of daily reflections – a lovely book that I definitely recommend. I come back to it all the time when I need to get quiet and grounded. Book Link